In his very interesting and insightful article Steve Bearman, Ph.D. and founder of the Interchange Counseling Institute in San Francisco analyses several steps that lead many men to become obsessed with sex as a compensation for the early learnt suppression of their intimate feelings and body sense. He starts the process with the stage of “Isolating Boys”, which is then followed by “Suppressing Boys’ Feelings” and “Desensitising Boys’ Bodies”. The only cure that many men then seem to find is “Sex as the answer” to their intimacy issues. But tied into the image of the strong man who needs to suppress his feelings, sex easily evolves “From Passion to Obsession”. But it doesn’t need to be or stay like that for men. There is a way out, and Steve explains how. Curious? Read the full article!
Every day…there is just something that makes me rethink my life and my choices…I really just keep wishing I would have cutted my life short then. Like I wanted to. Now as the cards are being played out death just keeps popping up. I somehow bring upon these feelings upon others that I just can’t explain..Like why would someone hate me or love me or despise me or want me as much as they do…How do I bring upon such chaos into my life.. Everything is just so fucking confusing. I can’t be me cause when i try to someone has to stop me because there’s a problem with who i am and who they are..and life just isn’t as easy as I thought it would be..I always thought I was good enough for the real world..that I could make it on my own because I always thought I was the big bad wolf upon little piggies. So I did all that I could to change my life and my situation. I feel as though now I just screwed myself and made it more difficult..I dont see how so many people made it into the big world. I can’t even land a decent job. That’s probably because I’m only 17 and an HS dropout but it just was never my fault..everyone always says that these are the best years of your life and it’s not for me a total fucking nyghtmare..always being considered a fucking kid..never being able to be token seriously..being completely hopeless…not being able to be who your are or being able to express who you are because it all costs money or your discriminated because you don’t follow into the usual. Then while i’m being completely pessimistic while everyone else is being optimistic. it’s a pain in my ass! I don’t constantly need the “Oh stop being so negative, you’re a bryght and beautiful girl, you’ll make it in the world, you’ll go far just keep your head up, it’s rough now but everyone has it rough” Touche. I admit everyone does indeed have it rough, but then again everyone is different. They feel, think, perceive different. So the things I go though and the way I feel is in no way what some one else would feel about it. So for example..I have finally lost both of my parents..not due to death but because both decided to walk out on my life. I take it as it’s all my fault, dn that they hate me. It practically kills me that I don’t have a mother to go shopping or talking about boys with, Or a father to help beat a boys face in when he breaks my heart. Or someone to cuddle with or hug when i need to whether things are sore or not. or someone to talk about college nd future hopes. or someone to make proud of with my life’s achievements… it kills me more and more everyday. but to others it’s “hey you don’t need them, it proves you are stronger and can do more things on your own” maybe that is true. but it still kills me..then I have this lover..who isn’t a bf..but isn’t just a fuck buddy. He claims he loves me and has feels for me…but how can someone love me but ignore me for 24 hr 7 days a week? HOW? He’s weird with how he feels, and I can’t explain it to you because I have yet to fully understand it myself..just know he isn’t the average…especially when it comes to showing his feelings.. but when he does I treasure every moment..I practically crave it because I’m used to the no feelings bit…anyhow..I honestly feel as though I am loosing him… he claims I am pushing him away. It’s not true..Yes I have detached myself emotionally or at least slowed the process because I do not wish to be hurt again..If he uses me then fine..it’s the typical bit with me.
Minions. The most adorable, vexatious, curious little cylinder yellow creatures you will ever know. Typically they either have one or two eyes, and do not speak the accurate English. If that’s what you would perceive it as. Most fans relate to them because they have little self control and tend to do irrational things at times. They tend to be very comical with their actions as well which made them famous with all ages. In the movie Despicable Me they are gru’s little evil apprentices. Gru isn’t fond of kids at first but he tends to show much appreciation for them and their hard work as well as knows all their names, unlike most people. They do not have a gender, but are all perceived to be male. They also do not show sexual attraction to one another but tend to make adult like jokes. although there are are several hundred minions, only forty-eight combinations. Minions simply have no desire for anything but new ideas, and to fulfill their evil masters plans. They are capable of building machines, using advanced technology, operating advanced technology, and even driving. most perceive them to be quit stupid but are actually quite intelligent. They absolutly love bananas and apples. They will go crazy for them and do whatever it takes to get it, even if it means the last one standing lol. Eric Guillon is the art designer (aka creator) of the minions. surprisingly I never caught this til now, minions only have three fingers. In the first film, there were really only seven well know main and notable minions that names are mentioned by Gru and has a big part which are: Dave,Stuart, Kevin, Jerry, Tim, Mark, and Phil.
So I left for a bit outta my home state to stay with my grandmother..why? Cause I thought it would open up my eyes to something I wasn’t seeing being so close to him…Because with me living with him and us just completely having access to one another so easily…it’s just too easy..But there would be times where he’d go days without even looking at me…why? Because that’s who he is…He’s a big gaming nerd and isn’t the most affectionate person unless it comes to sex…but even that bores him..He;s into the most kinky and Bdsm shit..I personally fucking love it..To me it ties a bond..but even with that kind of sex comes dangers…With him being so emtionless comes the possiablity of just a sexual tension…and if that happens my body will notice and just crave him 24/7 not that I don’t I mean we fucked 3 times yesterday..He actually introduced me to new things..new toys..new feelings..I’ve had a total count of 5 people that i’ve slept with..him over like thirty nd he’s only 21…nd of all the men I’ve slept with none had ever made me cum let alone even make me scream or moan like he does…I’m gonna become addicited nd im gonna be to where I need him..Emotionally im already there..Physically and socially as well….but If I become sexually everything I worked for will become lost..complelty just lost..I wanna give him what he wants..but I know that everytime I do that I loose everything…Even after we are almost officially together..He even asked my parents for permission..I’ve literally have never felt this strong about someone and never truely wanted to be with someone this bad…I just feel that it;s all ready gone…Like by letting him have what he wanted I lost him..I dont know that;s what it just feels like…not sure what is happening anymore..MY head is spinning…
Im gonna be honest, im a 17 yr old sex addict..mainy the rough Bdsm kind..the whips,chains,toys..theres just something about danger that ..excites me but yet comforts me…i honestly dont know how to put it into words..maybe thats why i got so off on the 50 shades trilogy..having a Dom who protects and loves you is just everything a girl could want..its rare though..i feel like i have it..he is so sexual my inner goddess feeds off his attention..but then the romantic part of me just wants to cuddle up and just fall withoit worrying whether hes just using me..i just domt wanna be another pussy count…he lets me use his technology for my research,netflix, and blogging..and when i go onto soundcloud because i cant do anything without music..its logged into his account and after what a month of being together he still has a picture of him and his ex…but yet he hasnt tooken any pictures with me or he gets pissy when i take pics of him…then ttoday before i gave in to fucking…he said that even though were taking it slow and we havent gone public i consider you my gf..like what is that supposed to mean..the other day i got into a pity argument with his other ex..and she had said that hes only with me for his convience…how am i supposed to fall for someone who is just using me..so i figured a little distance would tell a bit of truth..so ive decided to move upstate with my Aunt while he continues to stay at my house..i doubt hell even talknto me or anything..but its to see if hell stay faithful and if hell want me when i come home….im not a very physical and trusting person..i hate it when people lay there hands on me or just brush shoulders..its kills me or when someone just expects me to believe everything they say…but him his touch i beg and crave for it…but thats another thing..he says hes not just gonna give me what i want i have to ask him…but when i do its a no or hes busy…it all seems pointless to me..but i havent ever felt close to anyone since the lasdt guy i feel for…but this all seems too familar…much like #50 shades of grey…hes my christian grey and im his Anastasia….but just how loer can i accept my reality before it turns into a fantasy or nyghtmare?!?!
💀Fallen Angel 💀
So..i know im only 17 but ive been in and out of relationships like nyght and day..yea i sound like a whore but im not..i rarely even spoke to them let alone spread my legs…that and i just never felt worthy of anything. Some would buy me gifts or pamper me. I loved it but then felt like it was all an act. I ended up thinking they all just wanted to fuck. I never grew up to know what love truly was. My father was forced out of my life at a young age and my mom slept with every dickhead in sight. That and the three people i ever truly fell for all just used me then when i moved on claimed they loved me…ive also been cheated on,abused, used..etc..so my trust and insecurities arent at their greatest…ive actually decided to never date again..to not become close to anyone or anything..but then my livimg arrangements were changed and i met the most incredible man ever…at first i thought it was hopeless because of so many reasons…he was friends with the family..and my step brothers best friend..incredibly intelligent..21.. His ex and i do not get along at all..and he just never showed any interest… But then one random nyght he kept txting me because he had no one to talk to and we just clicked…and we talked and talked…before this i had already fallen for him…the way he acted towards me drove me nuts because i hate desperate guys..and i usually can get anyone i want but him…he made me work for his attention.. Like i just felt like as hard as i tried it was pointless…then one nyght we talked..and just talked all night and it just got personal. I honestly thought he was drunk because he usually is but it turns out it was. He’s the manipulative type so he did play mind games with me to get me to tell him how i felt. I know when couples now a days when they first get together its like oh i love you this and that i never felt like this before cliche..yea that was me except i was serious. I really have never felt this much comfort with another person. Like i rarely feel comfortable near people like im a social outcast. He is just so gentle and caring with me. I usually dont let guys pamper me because i feel like its an act or that i owe them something back like sex. He loves sex and is a nympho like me but controls himself with me. He’ll only want it if i say. Not that im the dominant one believe me he is but the fact he doesnt want me thinking hes using me for sex. I have had several eating disorders so my appetite consists of small things every once in a while..but he makes me and wants me to eat because he actually cares about my health.. Hes incrediably intelligent like he just talks about random theories over and over lol i love cuddling in his arms and listening to him ramble on..the sound of his voice, the beating of his heart, and the heat of his body is all so comforting and soothing. Hes also protective amd jealous so i dont have to worry about him letting other guys in or something. Hes just perfect….the problem just lies with me…i dont feel worthy enough of his love…like i dont feel pretty enough or smart enough….and it drives me crazy because he claims he loves me but how….that and his ex who he was engaged to awhile back keeps trying to get him back…he was drop dead in love with her….what if i loose him to her….he claims he wont go back to her but no one has ever stayed in my life… Not my parents, family,friends, lovers,pets etc… They say that history repeats itself…..
So here I am blogging again…I had several over the years but none had ever lasted very long. I enjoy writing but with my anxiety its hard to write on paper. That and on paper no one replies to you with advice so basically theres no point. I also enjoy wordpress because strangers see my posts amd are able to reply. I dont know any of you so there woulfnt be any gossip lingering around. Anyway, guess ill start off by somewhat introducing myself. I rather not give my real name out so call me Fallen Angel. I know it sounds corny but eventually youll see why I see myself as a fallen angel. Im 17 and a HS dropout. Again youll see why i am. Im an artist in many fields..but im in the process of becoming a tattoo artist. I have several piercings and im a dirty blonde. I have long straight hair about half way down my back. My eyes change colour and i have freakles but not the like ginger kind. Im somewhat pale but tan easily in the sun. Im 5’3″ and 120lbs. Im a caffine addict. Cup after cup all day everyday. Im a smoker and drinker but due to my current living arrangememts its a no go. Im into that exotic punk,industrial, rocker look. Im just not the average girky girl. I fit in more withthe guys then anything. I rather break a leg bmxing or tackling someone or tuning a car and getting greese and oil everywhere then having sleepovers and gosssiping about the hottest guy or lastest fashion. Im bisexual. Honestly most people find that a shocker when they look at me. Sometimes i act like a child,or a badass, or a girly girl…i just like my women a certain way. Did i give enough description yet??? Can you picture me???